The Arrangement Read online

  "It's not like I had much of a choice,” she replied flatly. “And you can drop the shy stammer. It was cute back in college, but you're getting a bit long in the tooth for it now."

  When he flinched, she almost wished she could take it back. Almost.

  "Look,” Nick said, “I know this is a weird situation, but don't you think we could at least try being friends again?"

  "Friends don't fuck other friends’ husbands behind their backs,” she snapped, turning away.

  Of course, Eric had insisted on serving all of Nick's favorites for dinner that night: steak, baked potatoes, buttered carrots, green salad, and cherry pie for dessert. Ally picked at her food and drank too much cabernet, welcoming its warm liquid embrace. She'd zoned out so completely, it took a few seconds before she realized Eric was speaking to her. “I-I'm sorry. What did you say?"

  "Nick and I were discussing ads for my campaign,” Eric went on, giving her wine glass a particularly pointed look. “I told him I didn't see much point in investing too much in radio. What do you think?"

  She let out a bitter laugh, taking another sip. “I'm sure your very capable and expensive campaign staff doesn't give a rat's ass about my opinion."

  "Maybe not, but I do. You're an industry prof—"

  "Oh, please! I'm the blonde bimbo who covers fashion shows and Paris Hilton's chihuahuas. Nobody in their right mind would ever call me a real newsman."

  "I think you're being far too hard on yourself."

  "Then it's a good thing nobody asked you, isn't it?"

  After a few moments of painfully awkward silence, Eric and Nick resumed their conversation, and Ally poured herself another glass. Only now Nick kept shooting her a disconcerting—and for him, strangely serious—glance. She couldn't tell if he was sizing her up as potential competition, or maybe he just felt sorry for her. It saddened and infuriated her at the same time.

  She'd given the household staff the night off, so she ended up clearing the table herself—not that she minded, since it gave her a few minutes of precious alone time in the kitchen. Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she drank it slowly, her fingers so icy she had to clutch it with both hands. She dreaded having to go out to the living room and make more inane small talk. Hell, she dreaded the whole damn weekend; she wished she could snap her fingers and turn tonight into Monday morning.

  Creeping quietly into the living room, she found Eric and Nick curled up on the couch together, watching something with a lot of loud explosions and car crashes. She'd just settled into her favorite armchair when Nick leaned over and kissed Eric full on the mouth, then looked right at her, his lips curling in a smug grin.

  Red-eyed rage swept her, though somehow she managed to hold it in check. Apparently this meant war. Well, if Nick wanted to play childish games, fine. But she wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd gotten to her.

  Heading down the hall to her office, she spent the rest of the evening doing online research for a segment on celebrities and their pets she planned to film next week. Near midnight, yawning and droopy eyelids got the better of her. Closing her laptop, she padded down the hall to her room to get ready for bed.

  Eric came up behind her while she stood at the bathroom sink, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Nick and I missed you this evening. We'd hoped you'd stay and watch the movie with us."

  "I saw it on the plane coming home the other day."

  "Hmm.” He started nuzzling her neck, apparently oblivious to the fact that he'd interrupted her bedtime routine. “You smell incredible."

  "Thanks. Now if you don't mind, I'm not quite done here."

  "Not a problem. I'll wait for you in the bedroom.” Kissing her lightly on the lips, he stepped into the doorway. “Do you mind if I ask Nick to join us?"

  She froze. Oh, God, she thought, not yet. Not tonight. And apparently she must've looked as distressed as she felt, because now Eric had his arms around her again, rubbing her back, trying to calm her. “I-I'm sorry,” she whispered. “I can't. I'm not ready yet."

  "It's all right, don't worry about it. I had a feeling tonight might be pushing it.” He held her close for a few moments before kissing her so tenderly she almost forgot how to breathe. “Sleep well. I'll see you in the morning."

  Without another word, he turned and walked away. A few seconds later, she heard a door open and close down the hallway—the door to the guest bedroom. Nick's room.

  She shut the bathroom door and plopped down on the toilet lid, trying to blink away the awful burning sensation behind her eyes. She wasn't going to cry, she just wasn't. This was part of the arrangement—she'd known that when she agreed to it. She had no business acting like such a fucking wuss about it now.

  Crawling into bed, she yanked the covers up over her head, praying for sleep to claim her quickly. Otherwise she'd lie here all night, trying to ignore the muffled groans and cries from down the hall.

  * * * *

  The next day brought more of the same, only worse. This time Ally knew she couldn't solve the situation by hiding from it; if she did, she might as well concede defeat to Nick right now. Wars like this weren't decided in a day, or even a week. If she intended to prevail, she'd have to gear up for the long haul.

  So she smiled, laughed and tried to pretend nothing bothered her. She chatted and made jokes, though the false cheer in her voice sounded unbelievably hollow even to her own ears. She joined in the dinner conversation, then sat between Nick and Eric on the couch while they watched a DVD, giving Nick a surreptitious elbow in the ribs when he tried to drape an arm around her so he could rub Eric's shoulder. The dirty look he flashed her made her smirk.

  Her stomach tightened as the movie's credits started rolling. The moment of truth was fast approaching, and tonight she knew she had to go through with it. She couldn't let Nick ace her out of another round.

  Luckily, she had something she hoped would soothe her nerves. Ducking into the kitchen, she popped the Valium she'd stolen from Eric's bathroom stash, washing it down with the last few sips of the chardonnay she'd nursed all evening. She rinsed out her glass and left it to dry in the sink before heading for the bedroom, already feeling marginally calmer.

  Nick and Eric weren't there yet, so she stretched out on the bed, still fully dressed. She'd just begun to relax when a sudden wave of nausea and lightheadedness crashed over her, making her groan. Damn! She should've known better than to mix tranquilizers with alcohol.

  The room started spinning and she felt the bed dip down, with Nick landing flat on his back on the mattress, close enough for her to touch him. Then she saw Eric bending over Nick, capturing his mouth in a long, deep kiss full of promise, need and naked, unbridled hunger.

  Eric had never kissed her like that. And she knew now beyond a doubt, with the kind of clarity only achieved through an altered state of consciousness, he never would.

  Pain rolled over her, immediate and crushing, forcing the breath from her lungs. It would kill her if she let it, this constant empty ache inside that she'd tried to ignore for so long. She'd fooled herself, thinking she could oust Nick from Eric's heart. This petty little war of theirs had ground to its inevitable messy end—and she'd lost before the first skirmish.

  Her stomach lurched as she felt hands on her body, too many hands, followed by lips on her throat. She didn't know which one of them—or maybe it was both of them—was touching and kissing her, but she wanted it to stop. Biting her lip, she stifled a moan of disgust.

  She couldn't see anything anymore. The room had gone dark and full of shadows. One large, dark-haired shadow loomed over her, right before the light in her head went out.

  * * * *

  Ally woke with her tongue glued to the roof of her mouth and a horde of baby rhinos stampeding through her brain. Her stomach roiled and cramped as she sat up, vomit rising in her throat. She dashed to the bathroom, barely flinging the toilet lid up in time.

  She splashed some cold water on her face when she was done, before brus
hing her teeth and downing three extra-strength aspirin. God, she looked like something out of a zombie movie—livid purplish circles under her eyes, hair full of tangles, lips all cracked and dry.

  And she hadn't a stitch on either. Strange, but she didn't remember getting undressed.

  Truthfully, she didn't remember much of anything past the point where Eric—or had it been Nick?—started kissing and manhandling her. The rest of the evening had faded into a murky haze.

  Turning on the shower, she stepped under the warm spray. It helped her feel a bit more alert, but the cobwebs and fog in her memory remained. Suddenly she felt herself begin to tremble uncontrollably. She heard herself sobbing, but it sounded like another person—a totally broken, pathetic person who had her voice. She'd never felt so cheap and dirty.

  She shoved a fist in her mouth, pressed her face against the cool tiles and cried it out, hoping with all her heart that Eric hadn't heard her. She couldn't face him or Nick right now. Maybe not ever again.

  Throwing on some clothes, she grabbed her bag and dashed for the elevator. Luckily, she didn't run into Eric or Nick along the way. She had no idea where she was going, but she didn't care. She got in her car and drove.

  * * * *

  He and Eric had just sat down for lunch when Nick realized he hadn't seen Ally since last night. They searched for her in every room, with no luck.

  They tried her cell phone several times; it rang, but she didn't answer. Eric called her office, but she wasn't there either. He tried a couple of her co-workers, her favorite restaurant, and finally, her father. No one had heard from her.

  Nick wracked his brain trying to think of where else she could have gone, his panic level rising by the minute. He and Ally had been snarling at each other like a pair of caged tigers all weekend. True, he'd started it, but only because he'd been pissed at her for slapping aside his proffered olive branch. Now he could've kicked himself for acting like such an ass. If she'd run off and done something desperate because of the way he'd treated her, he'd never forgive himself.

  "Dammit!” Slamming down the phone, Eric sprang to his feet and started pacing. “I don't know what's wrong with her. She's never done anything like this before.” Suddenly he halted, rounding on Nick, pale blue eyes glittering with icy suspicion. “Did you say anything to her?"

  "I didn't need to say a damn thing, Eric. I think our actions spoke for us just fine."

  Eric stared at him like he'd started speaking some exotic foreign language. “What's that supposed to mean?"

  "You know, sometimes I can't tell if you're genuinely obtuse, or if you're gunning for membership in the World's Biggest Asshole Hall of Fame,” Nick snapped. “I could tell from the second I got here that Ally hated the whole thing. She only put up with it to make you happy, same as I did."

  "Now, wait just a minute. You said—"

  "I know what I said. But I never would've agreed to any of this if I'd known Ally didn't want to do it. For God's sake, Eric, she's your wife. Don't you even care how she feels?” He shook his head. “Stupid question. Of course you don't. Why should you? The important thing here is that Eric Courtland always gets his way."

  Nick could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen Eric struck speechless, but right now he didn't have time to savor the moment. A light bulb had popped up over his head. Grabbing his jacket and cell phone, he headed for the door. “I think I know where she's gone,” he said. “You stay here and wait by the phone in case she calls."

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  Chapter 3

  An Open Marriage

  Nick found her exactly where he thought he would—at the apartment, curled up in a ball on the bed with the comforter tugged up to her chin, eyes and nose bright pink from crying. She looked like a ten-year-old in bed with the sniffles.

  "Hey,” he said softly, perching on the edge of the bed, smoothing back her hair. “I'm glad I found you. You had me and Eric really worried."

  "Yeah, I'm sure,” she replied hollowly. “Did you both have fun last night?"

  "Ally, nothing happened—other than you passing out. Eric undressed you and tucked you in bed, and we took turns sitting up with you to make sure you were okay."

  Her eyes widened. “After all the awful things I've said to you lately, I'm amazed you didn't jump at the chance to exact a little petty revenge."

  Ouch. Still, he couldn't deny that he probably deserved it. “C'mon,” he said, rubbing her shoulder, “let's get you home."

  "I'm not going anywhere."

  "Ally—"

  "It's over, Nick. I concede defeat. If you want Eric so damn badly, you can have him. I don't give a fuck anymore."

  "I don't believe that."

  "Well, why the hell not?” she snapped. “All weekend you've done nothing but try to make me feel like an outsider in my own home. And now I'm giving you what you want, and it's still not enough?"

  "Look, I'm sorry for the way I acted, I really am. But it's in the past now. We both need to get over it."

  "I don't understand you,” she said slowly. “You're the one who wanted us to have this choreographed orgy, and now that you've finally forced me out—"

  "Wait a minute, did Eric tell you this was my idea?"

  She nodded.

  Well, that certainly put a new—and embarrassingly obvious—spin on things. “Jesus,” he breathed.

  "You mean it wasn't?"

  "Only in a bad-joke sense. But naturally, Eric took it and ran with it."

  She looked at him for a long time, her anger slowly melting away. “For what it's worth, I'm sorry too,” she murmured. “You know, we've had our fair share of fights over the years, but somehow you always end up forgiving me. I've never figured out why."

  "Maybe because you're one of those people I can't imagine not having in my life."

  She gave him a wan smile. “So what do we do, Nick? How do we make this work?"

  "We don't. I'm going to bow out of the picture. I couldn't live with myself knowing I broke up your marriage."

  "Sacrifice doesn't solve anything. You know you'll never be happy without Eric. And he'd probably walk barefoot over red-hot coals before he'd admit it, but I know he feels the same way about you. Maybe I should bow out."

  "That puts us right back at square one."

  "I never should've married him in the first place. All he wanted was a wife on his arm to help him win the election—and at the time that was fine with me, because he'd offered to help with my career. I knew he'd probably never love me, but I never expected to fall in love with him. I thought I'd learned to shield my heart better than that,” she added, chuckling wistfully.

  "Well,” he said with a crooked half-grin, “I could probably scrounge you up a Kevlar vest, if you think it'll help."

  She burst out laughing, grabbed the nearest pillow and whacked him with it. He grabbed one and whacked her right back, and the battle was on.

  It ended with Nick flat on his back, Ally straddling him in triumph. To his embarrassment, he realized he had an erection—and from the way Ally smiled playfully down at him, rotating her hips against his crotch, she'd figured it out too. He reached up and kissed her, softly and deeply.

  One kiss led to two, then three, and the next thing he knew they'd shed their clothes and he was pushing inside her. They moved together slow and sweet, like he remembered from their all-too-brief fling in college, back when passing finals had been the worst of their worries. Their lives had become so hopelessly complicated since then. And, he realized, they'd just made the situation ten times worse.

  * * * *

  "Well, I'll say one thing for us,” Ally murmured, her cheek resting against Nick's sweaty chest, “our timing stinks."

  "I'd have to agree with that,” came Eric's voice from the doorway.

  She blinked, sitting straight up. “Eric, wh-where did you ... H-how did even know we were here?"

  "Nick called me when he found your car down in the garage. But apparently that must'
ve slipped his mind.” He studied them both, his expression even cooler and more inscrutable than ever. “I'll see you at home, Allison,” he added, then turned and left.

  The next few days turned into a non-stop merry-go-round of avoidance and screaming nerves. Nick moved out, with Eric taking his place in the guest bedroom. He made polite but distant small talk during meals and went back to spending long hours at the office. But apparently he'd cancelled his lease on the apartment, because a notice to that effect arrived in the mail a few days later.

  Ally didn't know what to make of that, but she knew she'd had enough of all the tension and silence. There had to be a way out of this mess that would benefit all three of them—and she was determined to find it.

  Some online research, followed by a trip to Barnes and Noble, yielded a possible solution. Luckily, she found Eric lounging on the couch with a drink in his hand when she got home. She marched up and tossed her purchases right in his lap.

  His gaze flicked from the two oversized paperbacks, up to Ally, and back again. “What's this?"

  "Homework,” she replied. “I've sent copies to Nick too."

  He looked them over with a jaundiced eye coupled with a bemused smirk. “Open Marriage and The Ethical Slut,” he read. “Tell me you're joking."

  "Sneer all you want, but if we're going to do this thing, let's get it right. Or am I the only one who remembers last weekend as an unmitigated debacle?"

  "Allison, you didn't give this a fair chance the first time. What's going to make round two any different?"

  "Because this time we'll have ground rules and respect for each other's boundaries. Nick and I have already agreed that there'll be no more backstabbing or unfair jockeying for favor. So if we can expect the same from you, I'd say we've got a shot."

  He tossed the books on the coffee table and sat back, sipping his scotch. “Why do you want so badly to do this now, when you didn't before?"

  "What's that supposed to mean?"

  "Well, a few days ago you and Nick acted like you hated each other, and now..."